Monday, 19 September 2016

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often spoken and how we should forgive because it is healthy for us, it sets us free and helps us move forward. Recently I had to take a ride and do something odd, that I found online I could do, I got a glass bottle and some paper and wrote about who hurt me, what they did to hurt me, I just vented it all out, I then simply said I forgave them, saying those words are so painful because they caused such pain to me, I placed it in a bottle and then I went to a far place with the sea and loads of rocks and what I did was smash the bottle in to the rocks and it went right in to the sea.
It was my letting going, I couldn’t change anything, what happen happen, people hurt us but we need to find some way of letting it go no matter how anger we are, I had to start looking at how I could forgive myself because honestly I hated myself even more, it only made me bitter and I needed to let that go.
How can we forgive?
We need to Identify our Hurt.
  • Describe the event.
  • Write briefly how you felt and reacted to the event in the days following it.
  • Write briefly about things related to the event that have happened since it occurred that have affected your current feelings and motivations.
How we deal with this hurt will have an impact not only on us but on the people around us. The types of forgiveness   forgiveness is tied to making a decision to forgive those who harm us. That decision binds us to treat the person who hurt us as a person of value rather than acting negatively toward the person. However,  experiencing emotional forgiveness might take longer than deciding to forgive. A person might sincerely decide to forgive-holding perfectly to his or her resolve not to harm the offender-but at the same time might not fully experience emotional forgiveness. It is believed that decisional and emotional forgiveness, while sometimes occurring together, are two different processes that can occur at different times. In fact, some people can experience one and never experience the other.
I recently  learnt a new way to forgive and would like to share this with you, Its called (REACH)
·         Although making a decision to forgive is necessary, it is not sufficient to really change. You need to REACH forgiveness to change. The REACH forgiveness  has 5 steps:
R
Recall the hurt through imagination
E
Empathize with, sympathize with, feel compassion for, and/or love the one who hurt you
A
Give an altruistic gift of forgiveness
C
Commit to the forgiveness you experienced
H
Hold on to forgiveness when you doubt


Why should we forgive? As I said it is such a very important act to do not only for our health but for the people who are around us. Forgiving doesn’t mean what the other person did was right but it sets us free from being a prison. 

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