Saturday, 6 May 2017

Perhaps

As I stared at my phone waiting for the call I ran 2 hours for” one hour passed….two hours passed…three hours passed as I lay there face to face with my phone after almost 6 hours, I took it with rage and threw it across the room..turning to the other side I threw my blanket over me and started to cry, this was indeed so painful… what we do for humans yet they careless about the actions we do for them. As I lay there crying I heard the door open and a voice saying” alright your phone did you no harm” and went out again… I really didn’t care who did me harm it didn’t matter, I didn’t matter, in fact I was a nothing, which is how I felt. I slowly pulled my blanket off me and slowly drag myself out of bed, I stood above my phone and kicked it! I  grab my shoes open the door and bag it with my rage, as I walked out of the house which gave me some hope I started to wonder what hope was and what was love really. Did I even know it? as I walked outside speaking to the God I know I began to clam and feel some peace, as I started to feel this peace I remembered how much Jesus really loves me and how only that matter, perhaps I should start running 2 hours for him because he sure wont hurt me. Its so funny How  we put our hope in people but they always let us down, they can never come close to Jesus the king and hope of all . I try so hard to impress people, I try bringing peace among myself and them but this was not my place, I could never bring peace, only Jesus could do this. In fact only he can fight the battles I face and only he understands me, As I came along the park near us I see some kids playing soccer I sit and watch them, if only I was free like these kids, Stress free, pain free, human free… free to jump and play and be happy… didn’t Jesus come and die for just that? Didn’t he come to set us free from all pain and harm? So why was I suffering so much? Perhaps I really am his child and perhaps I was really indeed special even if this was true I was not living in it.. as I started to walk home I wonder how much hope people had and I wonder if they knew the real hope, as I came closer to my house I saw a lady walking towards me with a phone in her hand, she smiled at me and gave it to me, “don’t let this destroy your life” and walks away, I stared at it, perhaps I was allowing this very things to do just that… perhaps it was time to throw it away perhaps it was time to play and know Jesus, I turn around and yelled “ hey!” the lady turn around, “ I want to know your Jesus” she smiled and carry on walking, I smiled to. Perhaps I should start running for jesus all over again..perhaps this was the start of something knew, I threw my phone on the ground and began to run towards something I was not scared of. Something that was and had already changed me…Jesus..

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