Tuesday, 23 May 2017

The issue in mental illness…is really you..

Mental health has always been looked at as something so awful as if you are in a monster, the huge factor in suicide is just that, a factor around us that people choose to label it. its other attention seeking or you just feeling sorry for yourself. When people kill themselves the outcome is always oh but they had mental illness so that’s just fine… well as children of God I really do not think it is fine. Its not only oh victim statement, oh feel sorry for me… this is my right and sadly a lot of Christians see mental health in this term and it’s a disgrace to God. I would understand none Christians take on it but children of God? I have spoken a lot about suicide in my blogs and I am very open about it, it makes me mad to see my fellow sisters and brothers just labeling this matter. A few weeks back I did a course at church and in one of the sessions they spoke about suicide and mental illness, as they began I got super mad and walked out. The judgment on this was so not cool. This is a battle I was fighting and I am fighting alone yet it can be turn around and its sick. As I said before suicide is an illness and a lot of people lose their battle to it.    one of the signs leading to suicide is self harm, self harm can come in many forms but ill like to share one. A few months ago I began to cut myself and try to reach out to my therapist at the time of course she saw this as attention most likely and didn’t really help me. I had to face this battle all by myself.  About 2 or 3 months ago I decided to stop and try help myself.  When I began to wear short selves everyone around me freaked out! Some telling me to put a jacket on and others telling me God will punish me. Then I got those awesome people who told me that God is going use this to help others who struggle with this. I still struggle with it, I try to fight it but I really can’t fight it alone. I recently had 2 of the therapist who worked with me simply give up on me. Just a week ago one of them said to me its as if im not fighting anymore. I felt insulted afterwards. Because they weren’t fighting for me yet they think they can tell me not to give up? And its just like those people who make mental health a disgrace when its like any other illness. We may cut ourselves, try and end our lives, lose ourselves in a full blown rage of anger but at the end of the day, we are just people who need support and need love.

When people choose to label mental health and walk away from us and tell us we are hopeless course, they are choosing to disgrace God and by doing so is rejecting Jesus himself. When I die of suicide I don’t want people to say oh she battle mental illness, no I want people to see that I battle people and lose the battle because at the end of the day…the issue isn’t in mental health…its really you.

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