Friday, 19 May 2017

Why dont they love me?

As I spin myself around and around with the wind hitting me and pushing me to the ground, I fall hard and lay there looking up in the sky of clouds that look like a battle ships of candy, oh how nice a bar of candy would do right now! As I lay there thinking about everything in the moment, watching the birds fly by, and hearing the dogs pass me, it’s a moment of peace, peace I struggle to find in the pass 10 months and I now lay there with the peace of letting go, as the faces of people who have given up on me enter my mind of wars I start to feel some kind of tears racing on the cheeks of the broken hearted… I start to ask myself why, and the biggest one I ask is why don’t they love me? What happen to their keen of help, it as if it turn in to raw meat un eatable…month after month I cry for these people, are they crying for me? Are they praying for me like I pray for them? As I arise from the ground, I feel the wind die down, like my soul has, it as if I stop caring, stop living, but why? Why have I stop running for freedom of grace and love? Why did I give up just because of the 3 people who chose to give up on me? Why don’t they love me hits me all over again, as I start to walk along the path of green stones I am reminded that there is love in jesus and in Jesus there is hope, the perfect one, could I start fighting for him? Perhaps he was going give up on me too, as I come to the robots of green and red, I had a choice, we all do, to choose then green over the red, but was it possible to even fight anymore? How do you fight for people who don’t love you? Why don’t they love me? Perhaps there was indeed something wrong with me, maybe it was the way I looked or thought…then again they had no idea of my thunder of thoughts but does anyone…as I come along the bridge of death I start spinning and I spin around and around the wind of hope hits me with more questions then ever…

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