Recently I was told to stop fighting for something I believe in, I was told to give up and just walk away, it made me cry and break inside, it got me thinking about life and why I fight to keep living, why do I fight? Just why do I even bother?
The person who told me to give up simply sees what it doing to me perhaps they just don’t want me to die fighting, but don’t people die in a war? Perhaps I was in a war about to die, I feel like im in a war zone where people don’t care about me and where they not even aware of the huge battle im facing, about a month ago I had to force my self to go to the hospital because I had taken an overdoes of pills but this was much worse, I had taken almost 100 pills, buy the time I got there the doctors thought I was going die and even when all of that drama was going on I was all alone and had no one by my side.
The doctors told me they don’t know why I made it because I should be dead. It gave me a new look on things, I was all alone in all of this and this was my war to fight alone, but the question in all of this why do I keep fighting? What was the goal? What was the reward? What impact did it have on me and what did it bring out of me?
When we fight for something or someone we do it because of something, as in value or in means of love and sometimes belief, we need to be aware why we fight because if we are not aware we will give up and walk away from a war we are meant to win.
Sometimes winning doesn’t mean you going live after it, sometimes it brings hope and life in others and that is the battle won, sometimes you have to be the one to die in Oder to bring victory.
As I battle in a huge war I face 3 important things. the value of my battle, what it brings out and its worth, then I face the chances of death and the most hurtful thing I face is people running from me when im in a battle, yet even jesus faced this battle and look where he is today?
Jesus followers all left him when he was put to death and when he was hit and hit they were nowhere near him taking that beating for him. I mean peter denial knowing jesus!!!
But jesus knew what he was fighting for. He was fighting for love and peace and most of all hope for all who do not have hope.
I guess what im fighting for is for someone to believe in me, for someone to love me and most of all for my voice to be heard and at the end of day I will other win or I will die and even in death it brings hope to many..