Saturday, 30 September 2017

The blue car around the conner from me !!!!

as I was walking my dog we came across a house , which I admire, it was very pretty ! I recently moved to a new area which has been so challenging since it reminds me so much of my childhood ! as I was standing in front of the house I saw a blue car that looked just like the car the therapist who hurt me drives, my heart started beating like a speeding flea! I decided to come around again the next day to see if there was 2 cars since she has 2 cars. the next day I was walking my dog and we came across the house and I stood their in shock there was 2 cars standing there and I was freaking out ! we walked to the river near by and I just scream asking Jesus what the heck was he doing?! was he trying kill me ? cause this sure was going knock me over !

I mean how on earth is this possible! I was super angry with Jesus and when I heard Jesus he was laughing at me ! I was more angry ! poor dog was so calm ! I love him !

as the weeks went by I realize I was not coping at all, when I went to see my mentor she gave me some advice and to look for ways to cope with this.

I was far from coping with this matter! what was God up to ? does he want me to be friends with this person who has broken me over and over and given up on me ! I refuse ! does he want me to be nice to her and build a r.ship with her ? I refuse ! as my angry grew God mercy on me grew even more, he showed me that with grace I could face this and love her.

one Sunday I was at church and decided to avoid her because I was not in the mood at all , I was dealing with everything , when I made a quick duck after church, latter that afternoon I went to walk my dog and as I was coming back she was walking on the road with her husband , I was super angry ! now I can't hide from her !

as we greeted and went our ways I got home and fell in to tears ! I didn't understand what was going on ! I didn't know how to cope how to love her. I mean I love her but in a distance ! as I went searching for answers I came across this and hope it encourages you too.

If you are faced with a mountain, you have several options.

You can climb it and cross to the other side.

You can go around it.

You can dig under it.

You can fly over it.

You can blow it up.

You can ignore it and pretend it’s not there.

You can turn around and go back the way you came.

Or you can stay on the mountain and make it your home.⛰

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